Last Monday marked 13 months to the day that I stepped into my new role as President of Awe Star Missions.
Wow, what a year it has been!!!!
Since last August 9, 2018 I have had the privilege of introducing missions to first time student missionaries in Mexico, venture to an undisclosed Middle Eastern country, sit with Syrian Refugees, canoe into unevangelized areas of the Amazon Jungle, serve physical needs while introducing the gospel to Muslims in West Africa, love on the homeless, sit with the gypsies, hold the orphan in Eastern Europe and serve multitudes of Sikh’s, Buddhist, Hindu, & Jaine unreached peoples in Canada.
I have hired new employees, initiated an Internship, written job descriptions, created and organized new events. I have set, kept, balanced and prayed audaciously for more missionaries, bigger budgets, open doors, ministry equipment, supplies; met with CPA’s, Financial Advisors, Business owners, Church Planters, Pastors, Youth Ministers, Missionaries, Mission Committees, Students, Parents, the list goes on and on and on.
I have spent countless hours studying, dissecting, and praying through scriptures to unravel Truths held in God’s Word that would challenge ideologies, confront culture, disciple frontline missionaries, and empower a generation to step into the gifts, purpose, and imprint God has designed specifically for them.
I even learned how to cut, staple and glue a pallet wall, pull up and lay down laminate flooring, hang heavy pictures with sinker nails and embraced my fear of power tools. 😳
More than all of this though, I have also learned how to sit in a lonely place and wait for the Loudness of His whisper in the midst of constant changing circumstances.
I have learned to pray without ceasing while I muster all the faith I can find to step forward into the unknown.
I have wept over my Bible, desperately seeking a deeper grip of Truth to Love those that are wounded, Shepard those that are searching and Call forth those that God is calling to step beyond themselves.
I think often of how David must have felt the day he was declared King.
I can imagine him remembering the day Samuel came to his house. How he was the last one pulled in from the fields, while his house was full of anticipation and expectation from the rest of his family.
I can imagine how David must have felt, knowing the Prophet was in his home and his father called every son but him to come as he sat watching from a distance overlooked and uninvited.
I can also imagine how he must have felt undone when he was handpicked by God for a position that was far above his skill or confidence level.
As the oil poured over his head in anointing, I imagine David reminisced moments of intimate fellowship he had with God in the valley of the shadow must have filled his heart.
I imagine David felt enormous love and favor for being called out by the Prophet. Yet, I’m sure it was mixed with undeniable wonder and uncertain emotion for being chosen.
I’m sure David questioned, “Why Him?”
I can imagine how he must have felt engulfed with feelings of unworthiness for the privilege he was being entrusted.
I imagine the responsibility to Shepard, Shield, and Serve God’s people weighed heavy on Him; while consuming desire to honor the God who had not forgotten him must have felt like an undeniable privilege and commission.
I imagine the day David took his crown. He knew his place of refuge would not change because he had walked there in preparation for 30years as he cared for his sheep. The lonely valley where he would watch, wait, and pray; that place where he heard “the loud whispers of God” that could only be heard when he silenced the voices of man.
This year I feel I have identified with David more than any other.
Not because I have been anointed queen, but because the role I stepped into on August 9th is beyond my skills, confidence, or ability. It requires me to trust God in ways I have only experienced Him in the valley of the shadow.
It demands I step back into my 40 years of preparation and remember where God met me in loud whispers of peace, love, and faith when the voices of uncertainty, fear, or unbelief tried to steal my heart.
Maybe you are like me.
You feel overwhelmed by the noise, taken back by the responsibility on your shoulders, or unqualified for the task. AND yet, You desperately are desiring to hear the “whispering voice of His Spirit” in the midst of the mountain of emotions that continually call for attention.
I have good news for you:
He is ALWAYS speaking, He is ALWAYS present,
He is ALWAYS there.
His spirit sings over you the old hymns of the past…
Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided”— “Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!”
Jonah 2:2 said it best: “In my distress I called to the LORD, and He answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and You listened to my cry.”