I heard the Lord say as I was reading the scripture, “Have you moved on?”
Many times we sit in the places and spaces of uncertainty, pain, or even disillusionment and we do not wait for the power of God to clothe us. We, almost like a knee jerk reaction, feel the blow, know we can’t handle the depth of the destruction it made to our soul, and immediately begin looking for a way to move on, before complete healing comes.
Healing requires us to pause, slow down, and breathe. We must sit in the anguish and feel the pain. Healing means we have to deal with the unmet expectations on others and even God. Healing means, we have to wait and even wrestle in the tension of the, “this shouldn’t be” and the “not yet” of understanding the why.
He told His disciples not to leave Jerusalem until they had received power from on high. (Acts 1:8)
The pain & the betrayal that flooded the disciples souls needed to be washed in the power of the Holy Spirit. The trauma left from the unmet expectation that flooded their hearts when Jesus didnt do what they were sure He would do. Wasn’t He suppose to protect them from the religious rulers? From the persecution that came, even from those they loved? From the harassment and embarrassment? What about the shame of His unexpected death? The trauma of watching the One they gave up everything for be arrested, mocked, spit an upon, and then murdered on a cross, while they ran in shameless denial of Him and hid. This unshakable grief and disillusionment in the moments before His resurrection, over took their souls, as they sat in the confusion of, what is next….
Wasn’t Jesus suppose to raise an army? Wasn’t He going to be the victorious King who overthrew the government? Wasn’t He going to show the Religious how wrong they were? Wasn’t He going to make right all the wrongs they had endured?
Have you ever felt this? Have you experienced the death of a vision, deep loss of friendship, shattered expectations, or the gut wrenching betrayal of what should have been, hope?
Have you felt the sting of disillusionment in how the story was suppose to go? To only find yourself like Peter weeping bitterly, as you fight your inner man in recognizing you have just denied the One, you were suppose to depend upon?
You see the Power from on high, was not just to cast out demons and have boldness to preach the gospel, but power is also needed to live free of offense. To live above the baseline of temporal belief that this life will deal you fair acts and comfortable trials.
Power is so you can stare the enemy in the face and declare like JOB, “ Though you slay me, I will hope in Him.
It’s Power to be a witness in the places and spaces closest to your heart, in your inner circle, your “Jerusalem”.
It’s Power to testify beyond the familiar and to extend to the Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth, that Jesus is who He claims to be. That you’re a firsthand witness to the authority of the power of His presence upon you, that overcomes your shame, fear, disappointment, dissalusionment, and unbelief.
”Are you allowing the Holy Spirit to wash over you? Have you received Power from on high?
Or have you, “moved on” too soon, and now find yourself wresting in the space between “my grace is sufficient” and “ Power to be a witness”?
How you handle your pain will determine how far God can take you in Faith. You must entrust your struggle, your fears, your worries, your disappointments, your unmet expectations, your loss, even your dissilusionments to the One who has the power to clothe you in hope again.
Friend it’s time to stop. Go back. Retrace your steps, and wait again to be clothed from on high!
“Do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you the gift he promised, as I told you before. John baptized with water, but in just a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”
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